What do you think of when you think of a soccer player?

It's probably different based on where you live and how old you are.

If you live in America and you're a certain age, you probably think this is what every soccer player looks like.

If you're European, it might be this.

If you're South American, it might be this.

But none of us probably think of this. It's too bad, too, because just like those previous two examples, he's one of the all-time greats.

The following soccer players rank all over the spectrum. Some are great players. Some are scrubs.

None of them fit the normal image of soccer star.

Wayne Rooney

Who: Wayne Rooney

What he looks like: Rooney looks like your stocky, annoying little brother. Umm… Shrek.

Carlos Tevez

Who: Carlos Tevez

What he looks like: Tevez looks like a couch potato or Encino Man.

Franck Ribery

Who: Franck Ribery

What he looks like: The Frenchman looks more like an Eastern European arms dealer or poker player.

David Seaman (retired)

Who: David Seaman

What he looks like: The former English goalkeeper looks like a porn star.

Adriano

Who: Adriano

What he looks like: Adriano looks like your funny, chunky friend.

Scott Parker

Who: Scott Parker

What he looks like: Parker looks like an English nobleman and a very short one at that. Or Rob Lowe.

Jon Parkin

Who: Jon Parkin

What he looks like: Parkin reminds me of a frat boy who really likes bacon and beer. He also resembles a fat version of Clay Travis.

Ronaldinho

Who: Ronaldinho

What he looks like: The Brazilian looks like your sassy little sister.

Ronaldo (retired)

Who: Ronaldo

What he looks like: The former Brazil great looks like a goofy, smooth-talking playboy.

Edgar Davids (retired)

Who: Edgar Davids

What he looks like: Davids looks like a sentient cyborg sent back from the future to destroy prissy opposing forwards.

Roberto Carlos

Who: Roberto Carlos

What he looks like: Carlos resembles a short, Brazilian Vin Diesel.

Andrei Arshavin

Who: Andrei Arshavin

What he looks like: Arshavin looks like a fashionista, a hairdresser and also bears a striking resemblance to Death Cab for Cutie guitarist Chris Walla.

Lionel Messi

Who: Lionel Messi

Who he looks like: Messi looks remarkably like a 1980s-era Liam Neeson, a 1970s-era Dustin Hoffman or an extra from Hannah Montana.