The 12 Most Insane Sports Video Games Ever

Ryan Dilbert

Why create a sports video game that actually resembles the sport when you can instead use your insomnia-induced hallucinations to create an unforgettable gem?

The innovators behind the games on this list have decided to spice up a plain old sports game by adding crazy characters or modifying the rules. 

Trolls play football, frogs are abused, and robots dominate the sports landscape.  Let's took a look at games that suckered in fans and blew their minds.

We will see attempts at creating sports of the future, sports of fantasy and the craziest combinations ever produced.

Honorable Mention:

Cyberball, M.U.D.S., Powerball, Killerball, Deathrow, Hyperblade, Swimmer, Grave Yardage, Brutal Sports Football, Battle Golfer Yui.

12. Super Baseball 2020 (Super NES 1993)

In this futuristic version of baseball, robots play alongside human players who are aided by jet packs and computer sensors.  The best part is we only have to wait nine years for this to play out.

A fun addition is that you get paid for every single you hit or strike you throw.  The money you earn throughout the game can be used to power up your player. 

You can have the Mechanical Brains battle the Tropical Girls while Double Dragon-style music plays.

If you happen to score 99 runs, pull back the reins on the offense.  Due to a lack of a place for a third digit, scoring 101 points for example, results in resetting your score back to 1.   

11. Battle Soccer: Field No Hasha (Super NES 1993-Japan Only)

Most Americans will see the word 'soccer' in the title and instinctively start yawning. 

But how would you feel if we added dinosaurs, Ultra Man and robotic kicking legs to the world’s most popular sport?

Unfortunately (or fortunately I'm not sure) the game was only released in Japan.  From what I can tell, aside from the bizarreness and cuteness of the characters, it looks like a pretty standard game of soccer.

Mega Man Soccer is a very similar concept that is more readily available to the non-Japanese soccer and large-headed character fan.

10. Speedball 2 Brutal Deluxe (Amiga 1990)

Slip into your tin-suit, grab a large silver marble and get ready for some action. 

In this futuristic version of rugby meets pinball, you slide around a gray arena slapping the opposition Three Stooges-style and bouncing the ball off stars.  

The players all look like worn down prisoners and all wear very similar metallic uniforms.  To avoid confusing your opponents with your teammates, the two teams wear vaguely different colored helmets. 

Although the invented sport looks mostly random and repetitive, people seem to love it.  Most of the player reviews are extremely positive.  You can never predict what people will like, I guess.

9. Chaos League (Windows 2005)

If you watched Lord of the Rings and wished all the creatures you saw engaged in battle would suit up and play some football, then the folks at Cyanide Studios had you in mind.

Choose a team of Undead, Dark Elves, Orcs, Lizard Men or even puny humans.  Quite similar to the Blood Bowl game, Chaos League is basically football with the addition of magic spells and smoke bombs.

More Warhammer than Madden, Chaos League is a real-time strategy game with a steep learning curve.  An odd combination of genres appeals to what is probably a tiny niche of gamers.   

8. Bill Laimbeer’s Combat Basketball (Super NES 1991)

In the year 2030, basketball has no referees, players wear armor and there are mines on the court, all thanks to one Mr. Bill Laimbeer.  The future commissioner hasn’t aged since the '80s. 

The entire game is played from an unpleasant top down view, which might be a blessing as we don’t have to look at the poorly rendered identical players.  Get ready to use your B button as it is used for every action in the game except for moving awkwardly around the gray bathroom tile court.

Signing on for this game was undoubtedly Bill Laimbeer's worst-career move.

7. Jerry Glanville’s Pigskin Footbrawl (Sega Genesis 1992)

Have a Viking playing football on a perfectly smooth stretch of grass fantasy?  Well, I have the game for you. 

What exactly Jerry Glanville has to do with a game set in 621 AD is beyond me.

In this footballesque game-set in an ancient time, Vikings and guys in armor run around the field punching and tackling at the control of a button.  The field is littered with more divots than Heinz Field, and if you're not careful you may step into a bog and fumble the ball.

If you get desperate, trolls can provide some depth for your team. 

For fans of Arch Rivals basketball, this is will be familiar experience.  This is a fast-paced, fun game with little strategy that has a bit of a cult following. 

History buffs might find more than a few inaccuracies to snicker about here.

6. Ribbit King (Playstation 2/Gamecube 2004)

A mash-up of annoyingly cute cartoon characters star in an odd game about bouncing a frog around a golf course with a mallet.

Somebody over at Bandai must have had a traumatic frog-related experience as a child.  Ribbit King is basically various forms of frog torture.

Besides launching them across the countryside, players are awarded points for squashing them in coconut trees and feeding them to giant worms. 

Your limit for zaniness may be reached pretty quickly into this game.

5. Mutant League Football (Sega Genesis 1993)

Football not violent enough for you? 

What if the players, who were comprised of trolls and skeletons, had to avoid landmines on the field, could literally kill the quarterback and receive no penalty?

Somewhere James Harrison is smiling.

With its fair share of ridiculous team names like Slaycity Slayers and player names like Spew McPuke, you’d expect the game to be one long-failed joke, but it’s actually a pretty entertaining game.

Bribe the ref, play on a field of toxic waste and enjoy a rousing game of football with plenty of cartoony violent quirks.

Just remember there is a five yard penalty for crying.

Also available: Mutant League Hockey

4. Skateball (Various Platforms 1989)

In the future according to Skateball: hockey will apparently trade in the puck for a steel ball, downsize their teams to two, replace the excited fans with cracked gray walls and transform into a less entertaining form of soccer.

Dropkick your opponent or push him into a pit.  Why all the sports of the future are more violent...I don’t know.  This game brings up more questions than it answers.

Why are there triangle-headed robots hanging out on the rink?  What are those glass balls protruding near center ice? 

Games Review puts it quite succinctly, "Skateball, while being quite good in a psychotic way, is not what could be called a brilliant game."

3. Ninja Golf (Atari 7800 1990)

Ever been playing a round of golf and think the sport would be tons better if you were being chased by a ninja?

BlueSky Software feels your pain.

They've created a game of golf where between hitting the ball, you must battle ninjas dressed in orange, giant frogs and curious radioactive gophers. 

If you hit the ball near a sandtrap, you'll have to watch out for snakes.  Hit the ball into the water, you’ll have to dive in after it with sharks and water ninjas right on your tail.

Nine irons and ninja stars, beautiful 2D mountains and dragons with bloodshot eyes, the strangest of combinations comes together in outlandish harmony in this cult classic.

2. Rap Jam Volume One (Super NES 1995)

Chicago is hosting the Motown Tournament, a basketball extravaganza where the winner will appear in a music video and all of $500.

Rap Jam Volume One, an ironically music-deprived game features the likes of Queen Latifah, Coolio and Flavor Flav doing what they do best…playing basketball.

Why a "Motown" tournament is not held in Detroit is almost as curious as to why professional rappers need to win anything to appear in a music video.

Motown Software certainly has some balls for forging ahead on this masterpiece, despite a possible backlash for its use of uncomfortable stereotypes.  Additionally gutsy is titling the game Rap Jam Volume One, assuming of course that a myriad of volumes would follow.

1. Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am (Playstation 2 2007)

Leave it to one of the most insane cartoons ever to inspire an equally-insane video game.

Going with the philosophy that the more elements you combine in a game only serves to make it better, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Zombie Ninja Pro-Am did its best to cram every intoxication-derived idea into this stinker.

The first element is golf which is played on various courses from tar pits to Hell.  Once the ball is hit, Frylock and Master Shake have to fight their way to it, but standing in their way are fighting brownies, giant pubic crabs and the Mooninites. 

Commentary is provided by ESPN's own Scott Van Pelt and features the voice of comedian Patton Oswalt.

Throw in a few levels of racing, rainbow bridges, and belligerent wrenches, and you have the No. 1 most insane sports video game. 

   

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