Being a fan of the Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals is a painful experience for Ohio residents. The franchises have won a combined zero Super Bowls and have been synonymous with decades-long stretches of despair and incompetence.
That pain just isn't quite enough for the Ohio State Medical Board to allow you a medical marijuana prescription.
The medical board rejected a proposal to make "being a Bengals or Browns fan" a condition that would allow Ohio residents to purchase medical marijuana, per Jackie Borchardt of the Cincinnati Enquirer. The "affliction" was one of numerous suggested for consideration in December.
Anxiety, autism spectrum disorder and cachexia are the three the Ohio board will consider.
From a medical perspective, it's probably fair to not equate sports fandom with an actual medical affliction, even for fans of the Browns and Bengals.
From a sense of pure anguish, though, it's hard to find a more downtrodden group than Ohio-based NFL fans. Neither the Bengals nor the Browns have won a playoff game since the 1994 season. Their last appearance in a conference championship game came during the 1989 campaign.
In three of the last five seasons, either the Bengals or the Browns have finished with the NFL's worst record.
Let's just put it this way: Being a fan of either team has been perpetually disappointing enough that they felt the need to make this proposal. Unfortunately for them, the state's medical board didn't agree.