When you try to trademark THE™ most common word in THE™ English language, this is what you get.

After news of Ohio State University's attempt to trademark "the" hit the public this week, the University OF™ Michigan hit back:

First, excellent troll.

Second, the optics of Ohio State's attempt to trademark the word "the" for merchandising is hilarious. Trademark attorney Josh Gerben, who discovered the trademark attempt, made it clear how unlikely Ohio State is to find success:

"This application has issues out of the gate," Gerben said. "In order for a trademark to be registered for a brand of clothing, the trademark must be used in a trademark fashion. In other words, it has to be used on tagging or labeling for the products. In this case, just putting the word 'the' on the front of a hat or on the front of a shirt is not sufficient trademark use."

Of course, Ohio State can simply continue making merchandise that emphasizes the word "the." The Buckeyes just won't have a trademark that prevents other entities from doing the same.

Score one for UofM in this Big Ten blood feud.

If you've lost count, the word "the" has been used in this article 22 times. We'll await the (whoops, 23) cease-and-desist letter.