New York Islanders goalie Robin Lehner said he was "extremely close multiple times" to killing himself last season while with the Buffalo Sabres before receiving treatment for alcohol and drug addiction.  

Lehner was later diagnosed with bipolar 1 with manic phases, and he wrote about his experience in a first-person essay for The Athletic with hope his story can "help make a difference and help others the way I have been helped."

"Since the new year began I had been feeling severely depressed and my drinking increased," he explained. "I was heavily drinking a case of beer a day just to settle the demons in my mind and then took pills to sleep. I was self-treating myself because I could not be inside my own head by myself. The thoughts of ending it all … it was real and close."

A game against the Detroit Red Wings on March 29 proved to be a turning point. He allowed three goals on 20 shots before getting removed from the game after two periods.

The Sabres listed him with a lower-body injury, and he didn't appear in any games for the remainder of the regular season. The 27-year-old Sweden native wrote that while it was reported he was out of town for a second opinion on the ailment, he was actually in Arizona to receive addiction treatment:

"The few days that I was given away from the rink before I left, I drank … a lot. So, I was set up to go to Arizona to one of the best treatment centers in North America for addiction and trauma. In the airport ready to fly, I sat by myself with a hoodie over my head drinking beers.

"At that point I thought I had only two options. Get on that plane and do this or end this once and for all now. I got on the plane."

In The Athletic essay, Lehner wrote that he spent three weeks in a detox room to rid his body of the remnants of alcohol and drugs, including sleeping pills, with doctors calling it "one of the worst that they had seen."

The former Ottawa Senators netminder became a free agent after completion of his treatment, and he detailed a visit with an unnamed organization, which he said "bombarded with questions about why I was a bad person or a bad teammate" based on his reputation without being aware of his diagnosis.

"The scary thing was all I wanted to do after these horrible meetings was to drink," Lehner wrote. "I was put down for so long and could not defend myself, all from fear of my diagnosis going public."

He revealed he needed to call family and friends at an airport bar before ultimately getting "on the plane sober."

Lehner eventually signed a one-year, $1.3 million contract with the Isles for a chance to rebuild his value after three up-and-down seasons as a member of the Sabres.

The goaltender said he's forged an immediate connection with New York general manager Lou Lamoriello, with the team a willing partner in his recovery, and noted he still receives calls from Buffalo GM Jason Botterill to check on him.

"And now that I have begun my battle with what's behind me, it's time to battle what's in front of me," Lehner concluded.