Anyone can break down NBA teams using an infinite number of words, but few people are ready, willing and capable of encapsulating entire-squad performances using a single word.

Fortunately, the PhD I photoshopped for myself says I received a Doctorate in Reductive Analysis. So, rest assured, you are in adept—if slightly fraudulent—hands as we navigate this exercise.

But do not worry about your favorite team getting unjustly shortchanged. I have been granted the freedom to explain each one-word selection using actual context.

Before we bravely press on, please note that the emphasis here is on right the hell now.

The entire season to date will be taken into account, and we will consider what is potentially to come. But this is, first and foremost, meant to capture the state and/or vibes of each team in this very moment.

Atlanta Hawks: Mysterious

"Mediocre" is the official one-word default of the Atlanta Hawks. But they are opening the door to being something...more.

Consecutive wins over the Cleveland Cavaliers, along with a W against the Boston Celtics, are a big deal. The defense is close to league average—and even better over the past two weeks. The offense has underachieved but is far from hopeless.

Bogdan Bogdanović and De'Andre Hunter are back. Jalen Johnson is taking another playmaking leap. Zaccharie Risacher is starting to make more threes. And, oh yeah, Trae Young will eventually hit more shots.

Atlanta is obligated to chase wins with this year's first-rounder headed to San Antonio. It may lose a bunch of games anyway. Or it might be more than faux-competitive.

We don't know the answer...yet. And frankly, that's kind of cool.

Boston Celtics: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Did you know the word "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious," popularized by 1964's Mary Poppins, is steeped in copyright controversy? More importantly, did you also know that, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, it is short-longhand for "extremely good?"

This is the proper way to frame the 2024-25 reigning champion Boston Celtics. They are hitting all the predictable notes—and then some.

Jayson Tatum has again leveled up the playmaking. Jaylen Brown's shoulder pumps are legendary. Derrick White is somehow better. Jrue Holiday remains relentless.

Al Horford will be staying in front of dudes on switches until he's 97. Kristaps Porziņģis returned earlier than expected. Payton Pritchard has not missed since last season. And the 2015-16 Golden State Warriors would have won at least 74 games if they had Drew Peterson.

Regular ol' "dominant" just doesn't cut it. Boston is equal parts inevitable and fun. It's supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Brooklyn Nets: Surprising

The Brooklyn Nets' front office reacquired control of their next two first-round picks with the intention of optimizing draft-lottery odds and their overall rebuilding phase.

Or so we thought.

Brooklyn is pesky and plucky and, frankly, perhaps too good. It is hovering on the fringes of the Eastern Conference's postseason picture, with a top-eight half-court offense that can no longer be attributed purely to early-season noise.

Conventional wisdom has the Nets invariably shipping out career-contract-year Dennis Schröder, lights-out Dorian Finney-Smith and maybe human-fireball Cam Johnson. But how much will that matter if guys such as Tyrese Martin, Noah Clowney, Jalen Wilson, Cam Thomas and even Shake Milton are stacking up #moments?

No team has a greater incentive to tank than these Nets. Even if the talent doesn't effectively scream "bottom-feeder," their play and place in the standings one-quarter of the way through the season remains shockingly competent.

Charlotte Hornets: Injured

Injuries are piling up for the Charlotte Hornets.

LaMelo Ball (left calf) is at least another week-and-a-half away from rejoining the rotation, and Grant Williams is done for the year following an ACL tear in his right knee.

Miles Bridges (right knee) has appeared in just three of the team's past 13 games. Tre Mann (lower back) has missed six consecutive tilts. Mark Williams (left foot) has not played in almost a year.

Opportunities and heavier workloads are mounting for everyone healthy enough to play. Brandon Miller is logging enough minutes to make Tom Thibodeau blush. Vasilije Micić and rookie Tidjane Salaun are getting starts. Moussa Diabate and the recently returned Nick Richards are basically the team's only bigs.

Time may beef up Charlotte's aggregate availability. If it doesn't, this team's approach to the trade deadline, the rest of the season and its overarching future gets morbidly interesting.

Chicago Bulls: Repetitive

Another year, another instance of the Chicago Bulls not doing enough to rack up losses.

To be fair, head coach Billy Donovan hasn't completely lost the plot. Matas Buzelis, Julian Phillips and Dalen Terry are all rotation regulars. And it's not like the Bulls are not accidental contenders.

Still, this team continues to win the exact wrong number of games: not enough to signal an immediate purpose yet too many to optimize the bigger picture.

Charitable interpretations have the Bulls biding their time. Trade season does not unofficially kick off until Dec. 15.

But we must ask ourselves this: Do we really trust Chicago's front office to wheel and deal its way out of the race for 10th place in the East and ensure retention of the top-10-protected draft pick owed to San Antonio? Or will this season have an all-too-familiar uninspiring end—deja poo, if you will?

Cleveland Cavaliers: Legitimate

Painting the Cleveland Cavaliers as an early-season blip is unfair. You do not stumble into the league's best record and a top-three point differential by mistake.

Suffering consecutive losses to the Atlanta Hawks isn't the greatest look. It's easier to write off as "spit happens" when the Cavs followed up these Ls with a W over the Boston Celtics.

Healthy skepticism remains fair game. Ty Jerome and Caris LeVert may cool off at some point. The rotation is uncomfortably reliant on Georges Niang. There will be concerns about how dual-small guard and dual-big arrangements fare in the playoffs.

Cleveland is a legitimate championship contender in spite of it all. And it may not have even reached its peak. Max Strus has yet to play, and the Cavs have the salary-matching and asset ammo to chase Larry Nance Jr.- and Dorian Finney-Smith-type upgrades.

Dallas Mavericks: Surging

Concern for the Dallas Mavericks' inauspicious start always felt premature. The performance of teams floating around the top 10 of both offense and defense has to normalize.

And so it has.

Dallas is 8-1 over its last nine games. Only the New York Knicks have a better offense during this stretch, which is notable, because Luka Dončić missed most of it. (He returned on Dec. 1.)

Kyrie Irving is cobbling together a campaign that will put him on the All-NBA radar. P.J. Washington has started making shots and is working his butt off at the defensive end. Naji Marshall's floater and transition zip continue to sparkle. Quentin Grimes is staking his claim to "best under-the-radar offseason addition." Dallas' rotation has bigs for every occasion.

Adding a healthier Luka to this equation will have a ridiculous effect, especially when he's making an effort to less frequently dominate the ball.

Detroit Pistons: Progressing

The Detroit Pistons won their ninth game on Nov. 29. Last year's squad picked up victory No. 9 on February 27—almost three months later.

Detroit's improvement spans up and down the roster. The defense has slipped but still ranks 12th in points allowed per possession overall—and ninth in the half-court.

Head coach J.B. Bickerstaff is leaving an imprint. The Pistons are fouling less and coaxing opponents into mid-range jumpers. Nearly everybody on the perimeter is fighting: contesting jumpers, drawing charges, staying in front of ball-handlers, effectively switching, helping near the basket, etc.

Cade Cunningham, meanwhile, is firmly entrenched in the All-Star discussion on the back of across-the-board improvement (including at the defensive end). Jaden Ivey is more plug-and-play than ever.

Isaiah Stewart is a monster. Malik Beasley was a steal. Ausar Thompson is back! Veterans are not infringing upon developmental reps. The offense has a ways to go, but the Pistons have reestablished the arc of an actual basketball team.

Denver Nuggets: Uncertain

Generational performances from Nikola Jokić can delay accepting the current reality of the Denver Nuggets for only so long.

Patience remains a virtue in this case, albeit just barely. The Nuggets are still in self-discovery mode as they expand the roles and uses of Christian Braun, Peyton Watson and Julian Strawther while attempting to figure out their best secondary rotations.

Injuries are also part of the story. Aaron Gordon has missed more than half the team's games, and Jokić himself already racked up an uncharacteristic three whole absences.

Almost everyone copes with key injuries, though. Denver isn't special.

At some point, the Nuggets are what they are: A team built around a lone superstar who can single-handedly ferry them to the precipice of title contention but may not have enough help to break the championship seal.

Golden State Warriors: Exposed

Those good vibes that dominated the start of the Golden State Warriors' season are beginning to dissipate.

Struggles are mounting in number since a Nov. 18 loss to the Los Angeles Clippers. Dependence on Stephen Curry, Draymond Green and Andrew Wiggins has increased thirtyfold, and while the defense remains fantastic, the offense ranks 28th in points scored per possession during this stretch.

Existential dilemmas are bubbling to the surface as a result. Golden State's depth is now a signal of head coach Steve Kerr's inability to manage everything. The need for a present and future co-star is dire. It's not Jonathan Kuminga. Or Brandin Podziemski.

Turning this season into anything more than a middle-of-the-standings romp will require a top-end trade. Golden State has the assets to make it happen. Whether it has the gall to follow through—and finds an available-star market to incentivize action—remains to be seen.

Houston Rockets: Arrived

So many view the 2024-25 Houston Rockets as a marinating product. They are plucky, deep and ready-made for a mega-consolidation trade. But a real playoff threat? Pfft. It's too soon.

Except it's not.

Never mind that the Rockets have the second-best record in the Western Conference. Or that they have the third-ranked defense. They are beating good teams.

Only the Boston Celtics and Cleveland Cavaliers have higher winning percentages against opponents .500 or better. The Rockets also rank fourth in net rating against squads with top-10 point differentials, trailing just Boston, Cleveland and Dallas.

Houston's offense needs more shooting and another option to break down set defenses. That's not a knock. (And the big-picture answer may be on the roster in Reed Sheppard.)

Yes, the Rockets have space to improve—and motivation to monitor the trade market. Left alone, though, they already have the ability to win a playoff series.

Indiana: Inconsistent

Inconsistency is the Indiana Pacers' lone constant (with the exception of Bennedict Mathurin and Pascal Siakam).

Tyrese Haliburton has struggled out of the gate. He appears to have turned a corner but must still cobble together trademark performances against opponents who aren't the Portland Trail Blazers or New Orleans Division III Flamingos.

Indiana's defense ranks in the bottom five of points allowed per possession. That is problematic no matter what. It is Defcon 1-concerning when the offense remains below league average. And it becomes more worrisome knowing the Pacers, clearly, do not have the personnel in place to fare much better for more than a string of possessions at a time.

Where do the Pacers go from here? Even with a better version of Haliburton in place, their destination officially feels like anyone's guess.

Los Angeles Clippers: Scrappy

It turns out even the rosiest projections for the Los Angeles Clippers weren't optimistic enough. Kawhi Leonard still hasn't played, and yet they remain tightly tethered to the Western Conference's playoff picture.

Defense is fueling the Clippers' survival. Use any adjective you want to describe it. Scrappy, frantic, handsy, disarming—they all apply.

This group has raised hell even when it shouldn't. Lineups without a real big are delivering elite returns. And the Clippers are first in defensive rebounding rate despite having exactly one player taller than 6'8" logging more than 15 minutes per game.

Los Angeles' ceiling will invariably be defined by the offense. By and large, it isn't pretty. But Norman Powell has entered the Most Improved Player chat, James Harden is percolating, and the team's depth is off the charts.

Bake in a Kawhi return or trade-deadline acquisition, and these scrappy-as-ever Clippers may just graduate to title contention.

Los Angeles Lakers: Descending

Changing head coaches without materially altering the on-court personnel hasn't sparked reinvention for the Los Angeles Lakers.

Who knew?

Head coach J.J. Redick has seemingly instilled more distinct principles. The play of Anthony Davis and Dalton Knecht are not-insignificant silver linings. Ditto for D'Angelo Russell the Reserve/Spot Starter.

But the Lakers are running into a talent problem. They don't have enough of it. Their rotation runs fewer than five undeniably trustworthy bodies deep. The roster remains at an inexplicable deficit of actual wings. And the resulting defensive product is abysmal—particularly in transition.

Complicated still, the Lakers are a team-high 23.1 points per 100 possessions better without LeBron James on the court. And that swing largely matches the eye test.

There is no salvaging this season if it turns out LeBron is human. With or without him flipping the bird to Father Time, though, L.A. clearly needs a blockbuster talent infusion.

Memphis Grizzlies: Resilient

Here's a list of every NBA team that currently ranks in the top five of both offensive and defensive efficiency:

• Memphis Grizzlies.

That's it. That's the entire list.

Landing in this club is impressive regardless of the circumstances, but the Grizzlies are again facing an onslaught of stop-and-start availability.

Neither Ja Morant nor Desmond Bane ranks in the top five on the team in total minutes. Memphis is starting a rookie drafted 39th overall (Jaylen Wells). Nobody is averaging over 28.5 minutes per game. GG Jackson II has yet to play. Vince Williams Jr. is just a handful of games into his season debut.

None of it matters. The Grizzlies are on pace to win around 55 games anyway. And while their offense continues to struggle outside of transition, the front office has the salary and assets to consolidate on the trade market if the rebirth of Marcus Smart isn't enough.

Miami Heat: Unconvincing

Wedging their way back near the top 10 of points allowed per possession should underscore the Miami Heat's status as the team nobody wants to face. Instead, it still feels like this team is floundering.

The path to a sustainably good offense seems insurmountably steep. Jimmy Butler has ratcheted it up since returning from a sprained right ankle but missed Monday's shellacking at the hands of the Boston Celtics with a right knee injury.

Terry Rozier is hitting shots...without taking many of them. Tyler Herro has cooled off. Bam Adebayo's rim frequency and efficiency are plumbing new lows, and his 36 percent clip from mid-range would be the second-worst of his career.

In-house reinforcements aren't on the way. The trade market might yield solutions...provided Miami has enough assets to pursue them. And the Heat better hope they do. Because this roster as constructed isn't going anywhere.

Milwaukee Bucks: Resurgent

The sky is no longer falling in the Deer District.

Since beginning the year 2-8, the Milwaukee Bucks rank inside the top eight of both offensive and defensive efficiency. The schedule hasn't exactly been hellacious, but the team is spitting out enough positive indicators to buy the climb.

Giannis Antetokounmpo is a top-three MVP candidate, and he's not No. 3. Damian Lillard is back to swishing threes. Gary Trent Jr. has regained consciousness since moving to the bench.

Leaning more on Andre Jackson Jr. and even AJ Green has helped steady the defense. Taurean Prince is proving to be a nifty pickup.

Milwaukee must sustain two-way excellence versus tougher competition to sway the naysayers. But rising above .500 after its catastrophic start, before ever welcoming back Khris Middleton, is nothing if not proof that this team's window hasn't closed yet.

Minnesota Timberwolves: Disconcerting

Anthony Edwards' verbal evisceration of the Minnesota Timberwolves following their Nov. 27 loss to the Sacramento Kings was all sorts of necessary. In the moment, it also felt like a death knell.

Minnesota has evaded worst-case critiques by notching victories over the Los Angeles Clippers and Los Angeles Lakers, and certain issues should resolve in time. Donte DiVincenzo is going to shoot better, and Naz Reid's recent slump won't last forever.

Little else is cut and dry, though.

Mike Conley's quality of play and health is not assured at age 37. The standout performance of Nickeil Alexander-Walker cannot paper over the enduring dearth of secondary playmaking. Jaden McDaniels' volume and touch from three won't suddenly skyrocket. Julius Randle won't randomly morph into a plus defender.

Seesawing returns should be the expectation for teams oozing individual talent that doesn't optimize one another. The Timberwolves have loftier aspirations. Their ability to tip the scales from "good but flawed" to simply "good" will define not only this season, but their future.

New Orleans Pelicans: Cooked

Yves Missi's rookie-year emergence is the best development to come out of the New Orleans Pelicans' season.

That and a couple hundred bucks will cover their team-appointed representative's airfare to the 2025 draft lottery.

This season is over for the Pelicans. Injuries ended it. There is no point hoping they get healthy enough to reverse course. History suggests they won't, and the Western Conference's depth guarantees they can't.

New Orleans must instead immerse itself in tough questions. What can it get for Brandon Ingram? What would a roster with Zion Williamson as the No. 2 or No. 3 option look like? How does it go about constructing it? Can Dejounte Murray be part of it?

Everything needn't be figured out by the trade deadline. But the Pelicans sure as hell better have the skeleton of an actual direction in place on the other side of Feb. 6.

New York Knicks: Confusing

So much is going right for the New York Knicks. That checklist includes:

• Karl-Anthony Towns being every bit of the offensive force the Knicks wanted.
• Jalen Brunson averaging a career high in assists. 
• OG Anunoby entering the periphery of All-Star discussions.
• Deuce McBride having a Sixth Man of the Year case (non-Payton Pritchard division).
• Jockeying for the league's best offense on the back of pristine spacing
• A top-six net rating that suggests the Knicks are the title contenders they aimed to be through their offseason transactions.

And yet, New York is far from a billboard of clarity.

The defense is about where you'd expect relative to the personnel (22nd) but has shown extended signs of implosion. The Knicks are dead-last in points allowed per possession against top-10 offenses. That standing only improves to 26th if, for some reason, you're inclined to filter out the opening-night massacre at the hands of Boston.

Then there is Mikal Bridges. On some nights, he is as advertised; on others, he plays so poorly, at both ends, his arrival has the potential to go down as one of the worst trades of all time. His capacity to recapture a fringe-star medium is what will make or break the Knicks' championship equity.

Oklahoma City Thunder: Hunted

Oklahoma City Thunder games have taken on new meaning. They are no longer the hunters; they are the huntees. You just see it and feel it, predominantly in postgame reactions.

The Houston Rockets clearly viewed their Dec. 1 victory as the ultimate measuring stick. The discourse following wins for the Denver Nuggets (Nov. 6) and Golden State Warriors (Nov. 10) were noticeably upbeat. A 121-119 victory for the Luka Dončić-less Dallas Mavericks marked a turning point.

Taking up the West's standard-bearing mantle has not fazed the Thunder. Their defense remains historically good, which is saying something when Chet Holmgren and Isaiah Hartenstein have yet to be healthy at the same time, and when the 6'6" Jalen Williams has jumped center. Their offense can be too reliant on Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, but that's often a feature rather than a bug, and Jalen Williams is progressing into the mother of all safety valves.

Title hopes run through the Boston Celtics, because they must. But Oklahoma City is living up to its billing as the league's second-best team—without ever having the best version of itself available.

Orlando Magic: Close

Prevailing consensus had the Orlando Magic struggling to remain afloat without Paolo Banchero. They have responded by turning in a 12-6 record and league-best defense in his absence.

Franz Wagner's ascent during this stretch opens a world of possibilities moving forward.

He is averaging almost 36 points per 100 possessions when Banchero is off the floor—right in line with what he's averaging when Banchero is on the floor, per PBP Stats.

But he's also generating 23.9 points per 100 possessions as a passer without Banchero, compared to 10.9 alongside him. And though Wagner's efficiency has dipped, it remains reasonable enough when you consider how many more of his buckets are self-created as the solo engine.

Benefit of the doubt will still gravitate elsewhere, and questions about the offense persist. But a fully healthy Magic squad just might be the third best team in the Eastern Conference—and a non-blockbuster trade away from forcing a recalibration of this year's championship-contender ranks.

Philadelphia 76ers: Alarming

Joel Embiid has appeared in just four games while dealing with left knee issues while both Paul George and Tyrese Maxey have missed extended time. The Big Three has subsequently tallied just six minutes together—an unfathomably low number that is both the Philadelphia 76ers' saving grace and their potential undoing.

Margin for error is ample in the East. Philly sits in 14th place—and is still just three losses off the No. 6 seed. But clinging to the futility of an entire conference instills only so much hope.

The Sixers will run out of time at some point. The likelihood of that happening increases with each passing day. Philadelphia has shed little to no clarity on the Embiid situation. His status has left many wondering whether this built-to-contend roster is better off tanking.

Staving off panic gets harder with each game Embiid misses. Even this idea that Philly needs only 33 wins is troubling. Contenders aren't supposed to be made in the image of doing the bare minimum to survive. And even if they can be, there's no guarantee these Sixers will ever be whole enough to do that.

Phoenix Suns: Durant

Kevin Durant is apparently 36 going on 26. If he never missed time with a strained left calf, he'd be a top-three MVP candidate.

And he might still get there.

His offensive production is just silly. He has a real chance of clearing 25 points on 65 true shooting for the fourth time in his career, which would tie Stephen Curry for the most in NBA history.

Ageless offense is being complemented by otherworldly defense. The ground he covers in the half-court is brain-bending, and the help contests around the basket are critical. Opponents are shooting 16.4 percentage points worse inside six feet when challenged by Durant—a top-13 mark among 313 players who have appeared in at least 10 games.

His importance to the Phoenix Suns cannot be overstated. They are a team-high 9.3 points per 100 possessions better with the 14-time All-Star on the floor, and their record with him (10-2) compared to without him (1-6) says it all.

Portland Trail Blazers: Weird

Positive developments are scattered throughout the Portland Trail Blazers rotation.

Donovan Clingan is massive and knows how to leverage said enormity. Toumani Camara is solidifying himself as indispensable. Robert Williams III is doing that thing where he makes you believe again. Dalano Banton is balling hard enough to earn nicknames.

Deni Avdija is finding an offensive groove. The same goes for Anfernee Simons. The defense has turned in extended moments of nightmarish size and versatility.

Through it all, the Blazers' endgame remains opaque. Are they fire-sale candidates? What purpose does that even serve? Is it time to have a conversation about how their two most important players, Scoot Henderson and Shaedon Sharpe, have been neither available nor consistent enough to register as one of their brightest spots?

If there was an award for having so many Dudes who aren't The Dude that you actually have Too Many Dudes, Portland would run away with it. That's an objectively weird spot in which to be.

Sacramento Kings: Stressful

Anxiety is part of the fan experience, but the Sacramento Kings are giving a masterclass in stressing out impartial observers.

Nothing quite says "desperate for answers" like signing Jae Crowder in the year 2024. Kevin Huerter has gone ice-cold (again). That chill may be infectious. Keegan Murray caught it, too.

Sacramento's secondary frontcourt rotation borders on tragic. The defense has overachieved relative to the personnel but is getting progressively burned from deep. Head coach Mike Brown is still trying to hash out which lineups make the most sense when it matters most.

This is not to say the Kings are hopeless. On the contrary, they rank second in total crunch-time minutes played.

Is their 5-8 record through those situations a sign that they're right there? Or is it proof they need a semi-major shakeup? We'll have to wait, fully stressed out, and see.

San Antonio Spurs: Ascending

Victor Wembanyama's rookie campaign elevated expectations for the 2024-25 San Antonio Spurs. Both he and the team are holding up their end of the bargain.

Sitting above .500 at the quarter-pole is a caps-lock FEAT inside the Western Conference. Wemby has settled back into two-way dominance after a dicey start. People continue to get bent out of shape about his jacking enough threes to melt Dirk Nowitzki's brain. But he's downing them at a 35 percent clip and still banging in over 62 percent of his twos.

Stephon Castle may have the inside track on winning Rookie of the Year. Devin Vassell has returned with a vengeance. Chris Paul's three-point-attempt rate has never been higher.

San Antonio is also churning out a top-10 offense over the past month. It has come at the expense of the defense, but the core lineup is throttling opponents at both ends.

This group hasn't quite arrived, but it's coming. And fast.

Toronto Raptors: Frisky

No team currently sitting under .500 is more entertaining than these Toronto Raptors.

RJ Barrett is plumbing the depths of his playmaking and looks more at home as a scorer inside Toronto's offense. Gradey Dick's scintillating efficiency has fallen off, but his armory remains deep enough to consider him more than a future specialist.

Jakob Poeltl trade mea culpas will come out in droves if they haven't already. Ochai Agbaji is alive—at both ends. Rookie Ja'Kobe Walter is back and bringing the perfect measure of chaos. Go watch highlights of rookie big man Jonathan Mogbo's passing. You won't regret it.

Scottie Barnes has returned, too. And the Raptors are decidedly winning the minutes he tallies alongside Agbaji, Barrett and Poeltl.

A gap year remains on Toronto's menu. But if Immanuel Quickley, Kelly Olynyk and Bruce Brown can get and stay healthy, the Raptors will have an even friskier level to hit.

Utah Jazz: Committed

Effective tanking eluded the Utah Jazz in 2022-23. And then again in 2023-24.

It isn't happening in 2024-25.

So committed are the Jazz to bagging a top-five pick that head coach/resident magician Will Hardy derailed a Collin Sexton game-winner by calling a timeout clearly designed to fortify the team's chances of losing:

OK, this is tongue-in-cheek. Sexton hesitated enough after crossing half-court for Hardy to doubt the possession's outcome. But, you know, jokes > facts.

Not that Utah's tanking is a joke. It's a fact. The Jazz have a bottom-three record and aren't managing the roster or rotation in a way that suggests they want to be any better.

Slogging through the rest of the season will be tough for some, but it beats finishing with the No. 9 pick. Thirsty fans can use Keyonte George pull-up jumpers as their hits of adrenaline in the meantime.

Washington Wizards: Bobcatsing

Don't look now, but the Washington Wizards currently rank dead-last in points scored and points allowed per possession—a feat known as Bobcatsing after the 2011-12 Charlotte Bobcats, who "accomplished" the same.

Winless Novembers can have this effect. And it might not hold. Not even the Process-era Philadelphia 76ers managed to Bobcat. (The 2017-18 Phoenix Suns did.)

Regardless, Washington's statistical futility serves a larger purpose. It will be well-positioned to land Cooper Flagg, Ace Bailey, Dylan Harper or Egor Demin in the 2025 draft.

Pots of gold at the end of the rainbow make the current product easier to stomach. Could fans do with fewer minutes (and less chucking) from Kyle Kuzma (when healthy)? Definitely. But it helps that the Wizards aren't barren of tantalizing prospects. They have those in spades thanks to Bilal Coulibaly, Bub Carrington, Kyshawn George and Alex Sarr.

Dan Favale covers the NBA for Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter (@danfavale), and subscribe to the Hardwood Knocks podcast, co-hosted by Bleacher Report's Grant Hughes.

Unless otherwise cited, stats courtesy of NBA.com, Basketball Reference, Stathead or Cleaning the Glass.