The first Thursday of the men's NCAA tournament is the greatest day on the sports calendar, bar none.

With this glorious day, though, come quite a few winners and losers—including your bracket, which is probably already at least a bit busted with a pair of No. 11 seeds winning before it was even dinner time on the East Coast. Surely Oakland upsetting Kentucky ruined what few brackets survived the first two waves of games.

Go ahead and make your "Winners: the teams who won. Losers: the teams who lost" comments. We know they're coming, even though you're definitely the first person to come up with that.

But where else are you going to read about venue-swapping winners, retirement-party-planning losers and everything in between?

Winner: Tom Izzo, Of Course

January. February. Izzo.

We all know the refrain.

And yet, a lot of us picked against Tom Izzo and the Michigan State Spartans in their first-round matchup with Mississippi State, citing things like Sparty's 14 losses, its short supply of quality wins and its season-long struggle at center, which could have been a disaster against the likes of Tolu Smith and the Bulldogs.

Clearly, though, we forgot the most important detail of all.

The calendar.

While it's true that Izzo has never made it to the Sweet 16 when receiving worse than a No. 7 seed, Thursday's 69-51 shellacking of the "other" MSU brought him to 3-0 in his career in No. 8 vs. No. 9 first-round games. (The Spartans also beat Miami by double digits in 2017 and defeated Marquette by double digits in 2007.)

The victory was also Izzo's 17th as the coach of the worse-seeded team, adding to what was already the largest stockpile of such wins in NCAA tournament history.

What was most impressive in the win was the way Michigan State clamped down on Smith. The Spartans got next to nothing on offense out of their trio of centers—Mady Sissoko, Carson Cooper and Jaxon Kohler shot a combined 2-of-3 in their 40 minutes on the floor—but they denied Smith the ball and swarmed him when he did touch it, limiting him to nine points and two rebounds with four turnovers. And without him, the Bulldogs just never got going.

Perfect game plan. No notes. Shooting 10-for-23 from three-point range didn't hurt, either.

Loser: Keith Dambrot's Retirement Party Planner

While nowhere near the hullabaloo that Mike Krzyzewski's farewell tour was two years ago, a different Duke(s) head coach announcing his planned retirement just a couple of days before the start of the NCAA tournament was quite the storyline to monitor on the first day of the Dance.

It was already one heck of a story that Keith Dambrot got Duquesne into the tournament in the first place. Not only had it been 47 years since the Dukes last participated in March Madness, but they went 6-24 overall and darn near winless (1-16) in the A-10 just two years ago.

Now, here they are, one victory away from tying a program record for wins in a single season following a bit of a stunner in the first-round victory over BYU.

It was a coaching masterclass by Dambrot, basically daring the Cougars—who took more than 50 percent of their field-goal attempts from beyond the arc during the regular season—to beat Duquesne with two-point buckets. Jaxson Robinson did hit quite a few tough shots en route to a game-high 25 points, but the Dukes made sure to close out on every perimeter touch, with BYU eventually accepting in the second half that it would be easier to get its points right at the rim.

It was too little, too late, though. Duquesne was up 43-30 by the time BYU embraced the layup line, and the Cougars never did quite claw their way back to reclaim a lead.

Here's hoping Dambrot's retirement party planner didn't make any non-refundable plans for Friday night festivities, because Dambrot has a little more work left to do on Saturday. (And maybe next weekend, too?)

Winner: The Venue Swappers

There are always "hosts" for the various venues in which the NCAA tournament is held. Sometimes it's an entire conference—like the A-10 hosting the Brooklyn pod, or the Big 12 hosting the Dallas regional. Usually, though, it's a specific school, which isn't allowed to play in that venue, unless you're talking about the Final Four, which can't possibly be avoided.

This year, the only host schools who made it into the tournament were Duquesne (Pittsburgh pod) and Creighton (Omaha pod).

And as it coincidentally worked out, the Dukes and the Bluejays ended up playing in each others' venues in games that overlapped Thursday afternoon.

Things worked out quite well for those venue swappers.

We already mentioned Duquesne's shocking upset of BYU in Omaha, but Creighton also took care of business against Akron in Pittsburgh.

Early on, it looked like we might be treated to one of the highest-scoring affairs in NCAA tournament history. Barely five minutes into the game, the Jays and Zips were tied at 14-14, on pace for about 224 total points. Heck of a start for anyone holding an "Over 141" ticket.

The scoring tapered off in a big way from there, though, especially for Akron, who shot 1-for-19 from three-point range after a blistering 5-of-9 start. The Zips led 34-31 late in the first half, but they were outscored 46-26 the rest of the way. (Which only adds up to 137. Sorry, over bettors.)

Creighton had an uncommonly tough day in the turnover department, coughing the ball up 14 times. Owning the glass and shooting nearly 60 percent from three-point range is one heck of a way to make up for a bunch of giveaways, though. All five starters scored in double figures for the Bluejays, led by Ryan Kalkbrenner's 23 points, eight rebounds and three blocks.

Loser: Bobby Smitheran, Long Beach State

You might have heard last week about Long Beach State's decision to fire longtime head coach Dan Monson a couple of days before the start of the Big West tournament—a move that just so happened to light a fire in the Beach, who won three games in three days to get their lame-duck head coach into the Dance for the first time since 2012.

It was a cool story.

Until the athletic director wanted some credit for sparking that fire.

"My belief and hope is that by doing what I did and the timing of it, they would play inspired, and that's what they did," LBSU AD Bobby Smitheran said a few hours before Thursday's game against Arizona. "I'm not trying to pat myself on the back, but it worked."

Bro, are you for real right now?

You didn't make that decision when you did to inspire anything.

You made that decision when you did so you weren't going to be effectively forced to bring Monson back for another season if the team did happen to make the tournament for the first time in over a decade.

Which is...fine, I guess? Most ADs wouldn't dream of doing such a thing, but with the transfer portal already opening up this past Monday, there's something to be said for wanting to make sure that transition happens as quickly as possible, so as to not miss the boat on adding players who could help the team next season.

Own the decision, though. Don't go out there and act like you were playing 4D chess in using someone's career as a pawn to plant the seed for an awesome run.

Secondary Loser: Everyone who bet the closing spread of -20 in the Arizona-LBSU game. It bounced around from LBSU +19.5 to LBSU +21 throughout the week, so maybe you got it an an opportune time. But the "official" spread ended up being a push in Arizona's 85-65 victory.

Winner: Jae'Lyn Withers, North Carolina

Jae'Lyn Withers had high hopes at Louisville.

He was one of the first recruits to commit to Chris Mack in September 2018, and after redshirting the 2019-20 season, he was a starter from day one in 2020. But things just never quite panned out and he abandoned that sinking ship this past offseason, landing in a reserve role at North Carolina, where he logged at least a few minutes in every game this season.

In Thursday's blowout victory over Wagner, he picked a fun time to have his best game in Carolina Blue.

Withers went for 16 points, 10 rebounds and three assists, setting a new season high in the first and third categories while matching his season best in the boards department.

It wasn't just garbage-time stat collecting, either. In fact, he made a big impact midway through the first half, drawing five fouls in the span of about six minutes as the Tar Heels began their journey to putting the game out of Wagner's reach.

It was still only a 12-point game when he started taking over again midway through the second half. He had four points and three rebounds in the course of two possessions, and it was his steal and dunk a few minutes later that put the exclamation point on the victory.

Maybe he'll be a factor in the next round against Michigan State? UNC could capitalize on the Spartans' lack of frontcourt prowess if Withers is lightning in a bottle once again.

Loser: No. 6 Seeds

Maybe in the nightcap, No. 6 Texas Tech will be able to save this seed line from complete embarrassment on the first day of the Dance—Update: Nope!—but it was not a good start with both BYU and South Carolina going down early.

Really, we should have all seen this coming. Everyone loves the ol' 12-over-5 upset, but after all the bid thievery that went down last week, this year's No. 11 seeds basically were the No. 12 seeds, all of the automatic bid variety. And instead of facing No. 5 seeds, they got to start their journey against even weaker opponents than usual.

Still, Duquesne over BYU was a sizable surprise, and Oregon going for 87 in a rout of South Carolina wasn't exactly a likely outcome, considering the Gamecocks have a respectable defense (against teams not named Auburn) and the Ducks had scored 87 or more in a game exactly once dating back to the beginning of December—an 89-84 victory over Washington State in early January.

Oregon was just plain unstoppable, though, especially Jermaine Couisnard throwing up a 40-burger plus six assists. It was just the fifth 40-point game in the tournament in the past 20 years, joining Carsen Edwards (twice), Adreian Payne and Steph Curry in that exclusive club.

N'Faly "Dante's Inferno" was unguardable, too, as he was in last week's Pac-12 tournament. He finished with 23 points and multiple rebounds, blocks, steals and assists, spending seemingly half of the game at the free-throw line and the other half throwing down vicious dunks.

Now, get your best 311 references ready, because it might be All Mixed Up or a Beautiful Disaster for those No. 3 vs. No. 11 showdowns on Saturday.

Winner: Marcus Domask, Illinois

All season, there were questions about how good Illinois could actually be without a true/conventional point guard, starting five players 6'6" or taller in every game.

It sure seemed like a silly concern all along, as the Illini entered the tourney with one of the most efficient offenses in the country.

However, a tip o' the cap to Marcus Domask for showing in the Illini's 85-69 victory over Morehead State that this team can, in fact, pass the ball when it feels like it.

The Illini emphatically defied their year-long assist rate of below 45 percent by recording a dime on 24 of 32 made field goals. Domask led that charge with 10 assists.

And 11 rebounds.

And 12 points.

It was the first triple-double in the NCAA tournament since one Temetrius Ja Morant recorded one in Murray State's first-round victory over Marquette in 2019.

Illinois was down 45-44 a few minutes into the second half when Domask started to take over, going for 10 points, seven rebounds and four assists the rest of the way. By the time he hit the triple to secure the triple-double, it was a little bit of overkill, putting Illinois up by 24 with three minutes to play. Given all he had done to carry the team to that lead, though, he kind of earned it.

Loser: Nevada, Somehow, After Leading by 17 Late

Back in 2018, Nevada was on the winning end of some wild NCAA tournament comebacks. The Wolf Pack trailed by 14 in the second half of their opener against Texas before storming back to win in overtime. Two days later, they trailed Cincinnati by as many as 22 points in the second half before a near-impossible rally for victory.

Now, unfortunately, they know what it's like to be on the other side of one of those ridiculous second-half comebacks.

No. 10 Nevada closed out the first half of its game against No. 7 Dayton on a 16-0 run, turning a 25-18 deficit into a 34-25 lead. It proceeded to play quite well for the first two-thirds of the second half. By the time the Wolf Pack pulled ahead 56-39 late in the second half, it was a 38-14 run spanning nearly half of the game.

Then, they got complacent.

They settled for deep shots from guys who most certainly were not their go-to players over the course of the year. They committed careless turnovers. And they left the door wide open for the Flyers to soar back into the game with a barrage of triples.

Credit where it's due to Dayton, especially Koby Brea, who drained four of those triples. The Flyers had to fight back, and they absolutely did.

But there's no question Nevada crashed and burned, inexplicably blowing a 17-point lead over the final seven-plus minutes.

Winner: Jack Gohlke, Oakland

In 34 games this season, Oakland's Jack Gohlke shot 121-for-327 from three-point range. He hit 10 triples in a single game last month against IUPUI, and he opened the season going 6-for-18 from downtown in a loss to Ohio State.

Basically, he has had a permanent green light all year.

However, you probably never heard of him until he went off for seven three-pointers and a few Michael Jordan shoulder shrugs in the first half against Kentucky.

And that's OK.

Finding out about guys who have been great all season is a huge part of what makes the NCAA tournament so much fun.

Let's not forget: Most people had no clue what an incredible player Steph Curry was until the 2008 NCAA tournament.

Now, don't get it twisted. I'm not saying Gohlke is the next Curry. This guy is a one-trick pony who had a 19-game stretch this season in which he didn't have a single two-point attempt.

That one trick just happens to be worth more points than any other trick, though, and he was on fire curling off those dribble handoff screens at the top of the key, going 10-of-20 overall en route to his 32 points—with one rebound, no assists, no steals and no two-point attempts.

Shooters gonna shoot, and this one may have just shot John Calipari onto the hot seat, for real this time. (I hear Louisville is hiring.)

Loser: Colorado State's Offense

In our expert predictions for the first round, we pointed out that fatigue might be a major issue for the Rams against Texas.

Colorado State had to play (what were more or less must-win games) last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday in Las Vegas in the Mountain West tournament. After that, they went back to Fort Collins before finding out they would need to go to Dayton to face Virginia in the First Four on Tuesday, followed by a trip to Charlotte to take on Texas.

Meanwhile, the Longhorns had played one game in 12 days and were bound to be well-rested for this first-round matchup.

The old "rest vs. rust" debate was liable to be a problem for the Longhorns offense, but there was little question that the Rams would be playing on tired legs.

It showed, especially in the first half, as Colorado State was held to just 11 points.

Isaiah Stevens eventually got to double digits in the eyesore of a 56-44 loss, but he was held scoreless on eight field-goal attempts in those first 20 minutes. It took CSU's star 16 shots to reach 10 points, but no one else fared much better. The Rams ended up with 19 turnovers on 17 made buckets.

Texas' defense was fine this season, but not that fine. The Longhorns allowed 70 points on average and only once held a foe (UNC Greensboro) below 50. But they had 17 points off turnovers compared to Colorado State's goose egg in that category.

Winner: Gonzaga, Cinderella Killer

To be the champ, you gotta beat the champ.

And to become the New Cinderella, McNeese State was going to need to beat the Old Cinderella.

Gonzaga wasn't having any of that.

After hearing all week about how big of a Sweet 16 threat its No. 12 seed first-round opponent was, the Zags came out on fire.

All of the national focus was on what McNeese State's defense can do in the turnover-forcing department. However, Mark Few noticed that the Cowboys give up three-point attempts at the highest rate in the nation, and he really steered into turning that into an advantage.

Gonzaga's first two possessions? Made triples.

In building up a 42-20 lead before the end of the first half? Eight made threes.

And turnovers committed by Gonzaga in the entire first half? Four.

It was an absolute worst-case scenario for the Cowboys, whose star player (Shahada Wells) shot just 6-for-25 from the field for the game.

After the intermission, things started going more in McNeese State's favor. Gonzaga turned it over nine times in the second half, and the Cowboys made twice as many threes as they allowed. They even outscored the Bulldogs in the second half.

It was much too little, far too late, though. Gonzaga cruised to an 86-65 victory, ending the "NCAA president has to hand Will Wade a championship trophy" dream before it even had a chance to get off the ground.

Loser: Southeastern Conference

As a rule of thumb, conference-based narratives stemming from the NCAA tournament are almost always overblown.

It's a single-elimination tournament. Matchups are paramount. Sometimes guys catch fire while others can't buy a bucket.

There's a reason no one has ever filled out a perfect bracket.

That said, we need to talk about the SEC, which very much did not have a good Thursday.

No. 3 seed Kentucky suffered (another) historic tournament loss, this one fueled by its season-long allergy to playing even a little bit of defense. Jack Gohlke was on fire from distance, but even non-Gohlke Golden Grizzlies shot 5-for-11 from downtown. Oakland frankly should have won in blowout fashion, keeping Kentucky in the game until the bitter end by missing 10 free-throw attempts.

(After the game, John Calipari threw his players all the way under the bus, basically saying 'What do you expect from freshmen?' As if he didn't make four Final Fours in the span of five years with freshmen-heavy rosters. And as if there weren't two fifth-year seniors in the starting lineup.)

No. 6 seed South Carolina got blitzed in a 14-point loss to Oregon, this after No. 8 seed Mississippi State was even more hapless than usual on offense in an 18-point loss to Michigan State.

At least Tennessee made mincemeat of Saint Peter's. And at least the SEC still has Alabama, Auburn, Florida and Texas A&M playing Friday with a chance to change the narrative.

Starting out 0-for-3 as the higher seed in every game, though, is a great way to get people talking for all of the wrong reasons.

Winner: The Not Dead Yet Pac-12

No, the Pac-12 wasn't the only conference to go undefeated Thursday. The Big East won its only game (Creighton), while both the ACC (UNC and NC State) and Big Ten (Illinois and Michigan State) went a perfect 2-for-2.

But three games and three wins?

Only the Pac-12 managed to pull that off.

The first two looked easy. Arizona crushed Long Beach State by 20, and Oregon toppled South Carolina by double digits.

But No. 7 seed Washington State had to outlast an upset-minded Drake team in a game that went back and forth and back again.

Midway through the second half, it looked like the Bulldogs were going to pull away from the Cougars. Drake led 54-46 and Washington State couldn't seem to buy a bucket. But it was just too much Issac Jones down the stretch.

Wazzu's primary post presence went for 20 points, 11 rebounds, three assists and a pair of blocks, anchoring the Cougars as they won their first tournament game in 16 years.

How much longer will this last ride of the Pac-12 last, though?

Arizona is obviously the best candidate for a deep run, but could Oregon upset Creighton?

Might Washington State be able to knock off Iowa State?

And let's not forget about Colorado playing against Florida on Friday. Against the short-handed Gators, the Buffaloes might be able to make it 4-for-4 for the major conference that was the butt of an awful lot of jokes this season.

Loser: Samford's Upset Bid

No. 13 Samford was already one of the trendier first-round upset picks right when the brackets were announced, and then became an even more popular pick when we learned that Kansas star Kevin McCullar Jr. will be out for the tournament with a knee injury.

The upset bid when south in a hurry, though. Kansas simply could not miss early on, making 10 of its first 11 shots and eventually pushing out to a 38-22 lead. The Bulldogs trimmed it back to eight a few times, but when the Jayhawks pulled ahead 63-41 on an alley-oop dunk a few minutes into the second half, the dream sure looked to be dead.

Nobody told Samford it was over, though.

Bucky Ball just kept fighting.

The Bulldogs frantically clawed back into the game, getting the deficit all the way back down to one, and having a chance to tie it up in the closing seconds, even after the Jayhawks benefited from a controversial foul call on what was an extremely clean block.

It just wasn't meant to be, though.

UK got stunned by a No. 14 seed, but KU narrowly survived its No. 13 seed.

Winner: The Bid Thieves

If you're the type to not start paying attention to college basketball until the NCAA tournament begins, you missed some serious madness during Championship Week.

There were five bid thieves, which means teams from a multi-bid leagues who won their conference tournaments to secure a spot in the dance that they otherwise would not have gotten. Those teams were: NC State in the ACC, Oregon in the Pac-12, Duquesne in the A-10, UAB in the AAC and New Mexico in the Mountain West.

We'll need to wait until Friday to see how UAB and New Mexico fare, but the other three continued their hot streaks, proving they did belong in the field by each winning their first-round game.

Oregon and Duquesne's victories have been discussed plenty already in this article, but how about NC State's convincing win over Texas Tech?

It was a tight game for the first 28 minutes or so, but the Wolfpack put the game away in a hurry, going on a 13-2 run while the entire arena erupted any time big man D.J. Burns touched the ball.

Burns wasn't even the story, though. It was Ben Middlebrooks scoring a career-high 21 points off the bench, and Mohamed Diarra building on a strong run through the ACC tournament with yet another double-double (17 and 12) and a pair of blocks.

Texas Tech's frontcourt was a big question mark heading into the game, and big man Warren Washington just wasn't able to do much to slow down the Wolfpack in his return to action after missing six games.

NC State was even a double winner on the night with Oakland upsetting Kentucky. At this point, the Wolfpack will be favored to reach the Sweet 16. And at that point, we'll need to at least start talking about the possibility of NC State replicating that 2011 UConn run that began with five wins in five days.