And just like that, the Champions League Group Stage is done for 2023. Giants have been chopped down, 32 has become 16, and we've had some ridiculous matches along the way.

The first winner? That's me because I haven't mentioned Manchester United within two sentences.

Better read on.

Loser: Manchester United

What the hell just happened?

I don't think there's a more appropriate question for Manchester United's Champions League campaign. Managing just two wins and finishing last in a group with Bayern Munich, Copenhagen and Galatasaray is not acceptable for a club that, admittedly, is having a disaster of a season in just about every way possible.

A lack of balance and individual errors effectively put the Red Devils to the sword. Erik ten Hag has struggled to implement a game plan that gives United control, with many problems stemming from a midfield that is easily strolled through.

Jamal Musiala's performance at Old Trafford on Tuesday night offered a snapshot into the issue; United have zero mobility and players are too easily beaten in the middle, placing huge pressure on centre-backs who can count themselves lucky they're still at the club.

It's not just the midfield, though. ten Hag has failed to plug gaps in key moments, resulting in United constantly throwing away leads and points.

The manager then picked the wrong time to be conservative on Tuesday, when nothing but a win would secure European football after Christmas. United had nothing to lose and they just looked happy to be on the same pitch as a big team, managing one shot on target against a Bayern side who played with 6/10 intensity after already winning the group. The game just drifted until the chance of success ceased to be with Kingsley Coman's winner.

There's a malaise to ten Hag's United that may prove fatal. Players seem isolated, unhappy and often frustrated. Rasmus Højlund must wonder what he's signed up for, both his lack of service and the fact he is a relatively unproven 20-year-old forced to lead the line at one of the world's most pressured clubs - giving him zero time to just learn the game.

This season's Champions League is better off without United, and in all honesty, it doesn't seem likely the Old Trafford club will return to the elite competition any time soon.

Winners: Copenhagen's Fearlessness

At the opposite end of the scale, Copenhagen need to be celebrated for showing major guts in a group that many would have expected to see them finish bottom of. The Danish side advanced to the knockouts by playing some excellent football and with a freedom you should get when there's nothing to lose.

Jacob Neestrup's side are proving difficult to beat. They held on for a vital 2-2 draw in the opening group game away at Galatasaray, which saw them down to 10 men for the final stages. Bayern then needed a late Mathys Tel winner to snatch a win in round two, before a last-second Andre Onana penalty save halted a famous draw against United. From here on though, Copenhagen grew into the competition and went unbeaten with victories over United and Gala sandwiched around a draw away in Munich.

It's refreshing, certainly after the first slide of this article, to see an unfancied team just putting it all out there and being rewarded. Although Copenhagen will have to contend with the suspension of influential midfielder Lukas Lerager in whatever tie they have next, Neestrup has a good balance of experience and youthful exuberance to call upon.

Swedish wunderkind Roony Bardghji destroyed United with a late winner in November and is starting to gain traction, perhaps a fitting metaphor for the team that should fancy troubling most sides left in the competition.

Winners: The Favorites

Manchester City and Real Madrid had pretty simple group stages without ever needing to reach their best. That's a powerful place to be.

Pep Guardiola's defending champions won every single match while making significant changes to the team, their strength in depth flaunted by academy players Micah Hamilton and Oscar Bobb leading them to a win during Wednesday's match against Red Star Belgrade. Let's not forget City supposedly went through a mini-crisis with a few iffy Premier League results while strolling in the group.

It was a similar story for Madrid, who you may forget have at least 10 players who aren't Jude Bellingham. What an impact the Englishman has made with four goals and three assists in five European appearances.

Even though Bellingham grabs the headlines, Carlo Ancelotti's ability to accumulate results when his team isn't at their sharpest shouldn't be overlooked. Madrid have a habit of growing into this competition, perhaps an ominous sign for their next opponents

Losers: Newcastle United

A little perspective is needed on this one. Newcastle's return to the competition was marked by putting them in a momentous group alongside Paris Saint-Germain, Borussia Dortmund and Milan. It looked like this would be a fun ride when the Magpies destroyed PSG 4-1 in their second game. It all went downhill from there.

The 1-0 defeat in Dortmund switched the momentum of the group before an awful penalty decision stopped Eddie Howe's men from a vital second win against PSG. Add in an endless injury list and we saw an exciting team run out of steam. The trouble has leaked into their domestic football, too, with recent 3-0 and 4-1 losses to Everton and Tottenham making it a difficult moment.

Newcastle fans will be proud, and the club will be back. It could, perhaps should, have been better, though.

Winners: Dortmund

Just as Newcastle slipped, Dortmund rose to win the Group of Death.

An opening loss to PSG triggered an unbeaten run of five, including two massive wins against the aforementioned Northerners and beating Milan in their own backyard. Edin Terzić's side keeps stumbling in the Bundesliga, but their European efforts have been nothing short of sensational.

This is the kind of competition that can keep Dortmund's season going, as winning the group should give them a favourable draw. The Yellow Wall is a formidable host to conquer, but there have been signs of maturity on the road too. Terzić should be ecstatic to get through and needs to continue drilling his team to maintain their concentration.

Dortmund are so much fun and should be good value when the next round of fixtures are drawn on Monday.