To anyone who thinks the Los Angeles Lakers front office is sitting on their derrières, thumbs twiddling fervently and aimlessly, with glazed-eye indifference as they watch the franchise descend furiously into the 97th circle of hell: The joke's on you!

It turns out general manager Rob Pelinka and crew may have a foolproof, totally realistic plan: wish upon a(nother team's) star.

Do you think that star is the currently suspended Kyrie Irving? Or that the Lakers were watching Myles Turner make mincemeat out of the New Orleans Pelicans on Monday night? Well, joke's on you again! They're dreaming bigger, better and, above all, more ambiguously.

On The Crossover NBA Show, Howard Beck of Sports Illustrated relayed some chatter from rival front-office executives who have thoughts and theories on the Lakers' endgame (h/t Peter Dewey of Lakers Daily):

"I will add one thing without going into all the detail, but I was canvassing a bunch of front office folks last week when I was workshopping my idea of ‘Can the Nets tear down now? Should they just tear down now? What could they reasonably get for Kevin Durant? Could they get anything for Kyrie Irving? Could they get anything at all for Ben Simmons?’ And in those discussions, when I brought up the Lakers, the pushback I was getting was they’re waiting for a specific player. That they’re not doing the Pacer deal, that they won’t do the Kyrie deal now that we for sure thought they would do a couple months ago, is an indication that the Lakers are waiting for a bigger piece to come loose that they think they can trade [Russell] Westbrook and the two future firsts for.”

You know what we are morally obligated to do next: shamelessly speculate over whom the Lakers are lusting after.

Believe it or not, cobbling together a list of potential names is a delicate balancing act. Mystery Superstar X must not only have a plausible path to the trade block, but he must also be possibly gettable for the Lakers' package of Russell Westbrook and up to two first-round picks and two swaps. (For example, L.A. can send out 2027 and 2029 unprotected firsts and dangle swap rights in 2026 and 2028.)

This is not an easy task. It entails finding stars who have the necessary leverage to choose their next team and who might prove to be prohibitive trade targets for suitors with superior offers.

Guess what? I did just that. Names will be presented in increasing order of a super-scientific concept I call "Potentially Possible Gettability."

It Probably Isn't These Dudes

Draymond Green, Golden State Warriors

Sure, #KlutchFam and whatnot. But "The Punch" has not eroded the Warriors' title defense. The bench has. Trading Green for the right to buy out or waive Westbrook and pick up some way-down-the-road first-round picks would be counterintuitive given Golden State's defensive struggles and the urgency of its window.

Also: The Lakers are supposedly aiming higher than we'd expect. As good as Green has been to start this season, I'm not sure that he qualifies as more aspirational on the court than however many games of Kyrie Irving you get before he takes leave on a quest to procure Poseidon's Trident, teleport to the city of Atlantis and take up his post as Self-Appointed Diviner of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (S.A.D.S.).

Paul George and Kawhi Leonard, L.A. Clippers

Both George and Leonard have 2024-25 player options, which arms them with some leverage. But are the Clippers really about to grease palms with their across-the-hall-for-now rivals?

Beyond that, Leonard remains out indefinitely with a right knee injury. The Lakers cannot afford to saddle themselves with more availability risks. And if George agitates for his way out, other teams will offer the Clippers more than the Lakers can dangle even if PG doesn't guarantee to stick around long term.

Damian Lillard, Portland Trail Blazers (trade restriction expires on Jan. 9)

I'm not sure who needs to hear this, but things are going pretty well in Portland right now. Dame was voted least likely among his household members to run from the grind; he's certainly not plotting his exit when the grind is more like a honeymoon.

Plus, even if he did, Anthony Davis and LeBron James couldn't convince Dame to shed Blazers red, white and black for the purple and gold back when the Lakers had actual hope. What's the appeal now?

Shai Gilgeous-Alexander, Oklahoma City Thunder

Consider this your bi-hourly reminder that Gilgeous-Alexander, who currently ranks as one of the seven top MVP candidates, is the Thunder's timeline and shouldn't be up for grabs. It also wouldn't matter if he was, because OKC could get so much more for him than what the Lakers can currently peddle.

Jimmy Butler, Miami Heat

The Miami Heat are off to a disappointing start, and it's currently unclear whether they can pull themselves out of it.

Kyle Lowry is either cooked or just warming up, depending on the night. Tyler Herro is really slinging it, but Miami's offense remains too dependent on him playing what feels like an outsized or slightly miscast role. Running more touches through Bam Adebayo has inherent limitations. Victor Oladipo doesn't appear to be walking through the tunnel anytime soon, and who knows how much juicier the offense will get once he does.

Miami has its own, superior megastar package ready to go. The Heat can theoretically dangle three first-round picks, three first-round swaps, Nikola Jovic and additional salary to, you know, chase the same players for whom the Lakers are pining.

Still, perhaps Miami is beholden to a market that isn't boasting another superstar trade target. Jimmy Butler could thus decide to take matters into his own hands. Maybe he'll want to play for the Lakers. And maybe other teams won't be tripping over themselves to acquire a 33-year-old with three seasons and an estimated $146.4 million left on his deal (including a $52.4 million player option in 2025-26).

Perhaps the Lakers could then swoop in with Russell Westbrook, two firsts and two swaps to win the bidding.

Butler wouldn't add a ton of shooting to the Lakers, but his downhill pressure and creativity coupled with his exhaustive defense and the fact that he's an actual, real-life wing would make him an awesome on-court fit with Anthony Davis and LeBron James. Whether AD and the soon-to-be 38-year-old LeBron can withstand Butler's four-a-days practice schedule is a different story entirely.

Kevin Durant, Brooklyn Nets

Based on the Brooklyn Nets' reported asking price for Kevin Durant over the summer, targeting him would be a truly pie-in-the-sky move for the Lakers.

Then again, maybe not.

Durant already requested a trade once. He could feasibly do so again. That invariably torpedoes some of the Nets' leverage.

Yes, Durant has three more guaranteed seasons left on his deal, but that's not as much of a selling point when we're talking about a 34-year-old. Make no mistake, other teams will come out of the woodwork even if he doesn't have them on his list. But the offers will likely be barren of the current or future stars Brooklyn would seek so long as everyone knows KD didn't want to play for the Nets.

We also need to ask how this woebegone franchise convinced Durant to rescind his trade request in the first place. Could there have been some sort of wink-wink "Come back and if we implode like everyone knows we will, we'll trade you wherever you want" agreement in place?

It's not that farfetched. As one front-office executive told The Athletic's Sam Amick:

“I’m assuming there’s some sort of agreement with Kevin. Like, ‘Look, if you want to move, we’ll move you. And we’re not going to move you to New Orleans and we’re not going to move you to Sacramento and we’re not going to move you to Indiana.’ So if the best Brooklyn can do is the Lakers, then if I was the Lakers, that’s what I’d be waiting on.”

I'd be waiting on that, too. Durant can tether himself to better short- and long-term situations, but we have to assume he won't send NBA Twitter into a euphoric spasm by choosing the Memphis Grizzlies, Toronto Raptors, Portland Trail Blazers or a Golden State Warriors reunion.

Maybe I need to give Durant more credit and seriously weigh basketball-fit destinations. That's accounted for here since he isn't the final name. But he also can't receive top "Potentially Possible Gettability" billing when we know he originally wanted to land with the Miami Heat or Phoenix Suns—two championship-friendlier teams with more trade assets to spare than the Lakers.

Regardless, if he wants to end up in L.A., he has the clout to make it happen. And the Lakers wouldn't need to think twice if the Nets have already agreed to send him where he wants to go.

Bradley Beal, Washington Wizards

Bradley Beal is The One—after Jan. 15, when his trade restriction lifts.

Basketball reasons abound for him landing in L.A.. He is the type of primary scorer and secondary playmaker who will have no issue playing off LeBron James and ferrying the offense without him.

And while Beal might be first-team All-Shoots-Worse-Than-You-Think-From-Deep, he has a better track record of nailing threes than most others on the Lakers roster. His 35 percent clip on catch-and-shoot triples would also rank third among all of L.A.'s rotation players.

What's more, Beal is juuust old enough, at 29, for the four years and $207.7 million left on his contract (including a $57.1 million player option in 2026-27) to dissuade suitors flush with more goodies. Even if those asset-rich admirers come calling, it doesn't actually matter.

The Washington Wizards inexplicably gave Beal a no-trade clause in his latest contract. That gives him the final say in where he goes next. If he wants to play for the Lakers, the Wizards don't really have a choice. They have to accept the Westbrook-plus-picks-and-swaps package.

To be clear: Beal has given no indication that he wants out of Washington. The five-year contract he signed over the offseason implies just the opposite. But the Wizards are presently in the bottom 10 of both offensive and defensive efficiency and seemingly on the fast track to Nowheresville. Unless they make a blockbuster acquisition of their own, pivoting into what feels like a long-overdue rebuild should be on the table.

Of course, Washington could opt for a one-year tank, hold onto Beal and reevaluate over the summer. But traveling this path demands his cooperation. And if the Wizards' season ends up going off the rails, he might be the one to initiate divorce proceedings.

Unless otherwise noted, stats courtesy of NBA.com, Basketball Reference, Stathead or Cleaning the Glass and accurate entering Wednesday's games. Salary information via Spotrac.

Dan Favale covers the NBA for Bleacher Report. Follow him on Twitter (@danfavale), and subscribe to the Hardwood Knocks podcast, co-hosted by Bleacher Report's Grant Hughes.